The #1 rule of blogging is to pick one topic and stick to it. Naturally, I want to skip blogging completely. I mean, seriously? I can barely pick three things to do at once, let alone pick ONE topic and actually stick to it. So I read, and read, and read some more about how to actually narrow down my topic. (Reading about how to write a blog? Yup, I did that.)
I have so much to say. I am passionate about so many different things for all sorts of reasons. My stepson is Autistic, so I am passionate about Autism acceptance and education. I have been in recovery for over three years, therefore; I am passionate about addiction and recovery. I am part of a blended family which makes me passionate about step-parenting and co-parenting. My family’s lives have changed due to natural health care, leading me to be passionate about chiropractic, natural alternatives and medicine, and farm to table eating. These topics are all over the place, they surely don’t make up one topic, and it’s not enjoyable to read something that should probably just say, “I’M A SCATTER BRAIN, DECIPHER MY MESSAGE.”
After hours of thinking myself in circles, I decided to write about parenting. Not ‘how to be a perfect parent’, because I surely couldn’t tell you. The closest I’ve ever come to being a perfect parent is getting my kids to school on time one of every five tries. However, I know there are so many people who are in the same boat as me. You know, the one with the hole in it that’s filling with water while the life boat is floating 6 miles away? Yeah, that boat. My goal here is to find my way to my fellow boat captains, and hopefully, help each other make it out alive! (I know, dramatic, but do you not feel that way sometimes?!)
So, let’s talk about my crew. My first mate is a striking young stud named Nicholas. We have been together for about 2.5 years. We try. We try to be the parents our children deserve. We try to work out our issues quietly and nicely. We try to make our relationship a priority while managing a household, taking care of our kids, and working six days a week. We try.
I have two little mates. One who has my DNA, J. One who doesn’t, B. J is four years old and he is me, through and through. He talks, and talks, and talks. He is smart, funny, sassy, and a little weird. B is six years old. He is passionate, honest, loving, and energetic. He was diagnosed with Autism two years ago. It is an uphill battle somedays, but we love him and we make it work. They are so competitive right now. Maybe that’s not the right word for it but they are those kids that don’t touch a toy all day but as soon as the other one has it, they NEED it. Oh, the joys. I have no clue how to shape a child into a man who is honest, loyal, responsible, respectful, and most importantly, who loves himself. I do what I can but I often feel as if I will be the cause of their failures or their pain. I keep moving forward, I continue to try. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, right?
For the past three years I have worked in a factory and hated every single second. As of October 6th, I no longer work there and I no longer dread waking up in the morning. Since leaving work, I have thrown away a bunch of crap I didn’t need in the first place, stayed behind on laundry, as usual, and spent a ton of time figuring out how to get my shit together. I might need a few more decades for that. Again, I try. The real difference in being home is being able to get my kids ready to go in the morning and taking them to school, as well as being able to pick them both up. J is in 4K so he is done at 11:15 and B is done at 3. I could totally use more alone time for my sanity, but that 2.5 hour window of no children each day is nothing short of heavenly. As much as I might want to pay someone to adopt them once in a while, I am grateful to spend most of these moments with them. I want to be a part of their memories when they grow up. I don’t want to be just the lady who laid out their clothes and made them shitty dinners when I had the time. Not that the dinners won’t be shitty, but at least they’ll remember that I dragged them out of bed each morning and forced them out of the house. That’s where all the glory lies, doesn’t it?
There it is, my generic, typical ‘about me’ post. As the time goes on and I write more you will learn more about me. For example, you’ll probably figure out pretty quick that I am as sarcastic as they come. Sometimes to shield that I actually have feelings and shit, sometimes just because I’m freaking hilarious. Another thing that will become obvious is that I’m passionate, a little too much sometimes. I pour myself into what matters to me. I’m looking forward to having real conversation, to hearing your opinions, and to finding other captains who are trying to make it out alive. All aboard the sinking boat!